an Ode (almost…)

Another day overcast,

clouds drift in gray

sitting here thinking

of

the month of May.

children pleading

“Please Summer, stay!”

 

Rolleez and boogie boards

tuck back in the corner.

We’ll revisit when uncle Summer

comes over.

 

Back to the grind!

Finding matching socks

Screaming alarm clocks

Running in time at the bus dock.

 

Coffeediem!

Brim to my lips

I seize the moment

Raise my cup

I blew a kiss

As the bus slowly hiss.

That was awkward

I was watching a movie on TNT (Turner Network Television) around 8pm with my seven-year-old son when a commercial came on about KY Jelly His and Hers.  My ninja reflects happen to take the night off and I couldn’t change the channel fast enough on the remote control.  Awkward scenario:  “Mommy that’s so stupid!”  as I fumble with the buttons on the remote control and when I finally find the channel it required me to have the skill of a sniper and still the signal wouldn’t reached the console.  I get up only to trip over the throw pillows which somehow manages to throw itself at me.  I suffer a technical meltdown.  I did not comment nor I had any parental insight and surely this was not addressed on Dr. Spock Baby Book and my son proceeds to say, “Why would he want his own lotion.  Girls can have lotion but not boys.”  Oh mother-jumper I thought!  Why on 8 o’clock pm on cable TV would have this commercial on after all this falls on a time slot of Prime Time Hour and we were watching a family friendly movie.  I finally managed to change the channel only to stumble the tail-end of the “Viva Viagra”  commercial.  Great now the possibilities of him humming this sort-of Elvis tune  while standing on line at school and being sent to the Principal’s office could verly likely happen. 

     I take my car keys and distract him to get ice cream which I happily de-stressed myself to a double scoop of chocolate.

Middle School

   My Tween is starting Middle School in a week and I am so worried for him; going to middle school to me is like battling middle-earth.  Scary.

   I did not epitomize ‘cool’ in junior high so visions of middle school does not dance like sugar plums in my head.  My parents plucked me out of my comfort zone when I was ten years old and brought me to “America” where I forced myself how to speak English by watching Sesame Street and Falcon Crest in which during that time, I had no idea that this combo could be damaging.  Self- help books weren’t as popular as in comparison today.  There were no books that titled “English for Dummies”.  I was always confused and my social timing was always off.  I simply stayed quiet which was viewed by other kids as I was extremely shy or I was mute.  I had an un-cool haircut.  I looked liked an Asian version of David Cassidy if he were a girl and Asian at that and in an era where popularity of Punk Rock was rising I was destined to be teased for the way I looked.

     Ninth grader girls walked around in their bedazzled denim jeans with matching denim skirts.  Their hair in a ponytail precariously on a 45-degree angle on their heads.  I thought (I did a lot of thinking then since speaking was not an option because of my thick accent)  “She looks like a beautiful human unicorn.”  The blondness fascinated me.  Why wasn’t I born blonde? as I cursed the universe.  I too wanted my hair to shimmer in gold during P.E. instead I had a haircut which shape like a number 7 from the top side of my temples and bending behind my ears. 

     A certain group of boys walked around in their leather jackets that inscribed the word “The Cure”.  I had no idea that was a band name I just thought “oh how sad, someone is truly sick.”   And oh ‘The Jocks’ need I say more.

   I did not have a category to fit into.  I had to take ESOL (English As A Second Language) with three other students.  Two of them were from Vietnam. A boy named Jerry (that was not his original name.  He wanted to have a more American name to avoid being teased) and the other, a girl named Hong.  The third student was from Cambodia.  Her family’s flight was to escape the atrocities of the Khmer Rouge Regime.  All three of them left their country, not by their own volition, but escaped from a communist regime and there we were in a room and we played “Boggle” during 5^th bell.  Again back then classes consist of bells.  Hence, the TV show “Saved by The Bell” whereas today, subjects are broken into what they call Block schedule.  Whatever!

      My Tween, however is dashingly handsome ‘though he doesn’t know it yet.  I suppose I have to thank his father for our son’s good looks.  But still I worry.  It isn’t so much about the teasing.  My middle school days consist of the basic fire drill.  Our kids now have to practice Lock Downs. As he enters a new chapter of learning is his life, he will also enter series of social worlds. I want him to have the freedom yet I am scared of the alluring effect of independence.   As a parent, we serve as a moral compass for our children.  I tell my son “It is not about being good but it is about making good choices.” 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Arbitrary Olympic Sports

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I have been watching the Olympics almost every night with my two sons and my husband and our kids are just amazed of what Michael Phelps has accomplished. Gold medal after gold medal. My oldest son commented “Why should everyone else bother to race like they might as well hand him the gooold!” (emphasizing on ‘gold’) and my youngest chimes in and say’s, “He should do the Souldja Boy dance on the podium.” You go Michael Phelps!

On the other hand, with my consistency of watching the Beijing Olympics 2008, this has caused me to have weird dreams. I’m participating in what could be an arbitrary Olympic Sport and in my dream, I am in a relay wearing Heeleys and I get disqualified for doping my baton because as it turns out I am holding an eggplant. The eggplant was more than likely triggered from a meal three days prior.

Did you know that the mighty sport of Tug of War was once an Olympic Sport? Now a days Tug of War is frequently seen on MTV The Inferno with inebriated participants and half-naked chicks. Our society has come a long way.

Homeland inSecurity

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I was reading my one day old newspaper and came across an article titled “Laptop Seizures”.  Apparently, under the new policy from the Dept. Of Homeland Security, agents can, without any reason or suspicion,  take your laptops and other electronic devices.  This applies to those coming in to the US so it applies to U.S Citizens and foreigners. 

Take heed that agents will take your shampoos, your red bull or whatever energy drink or drink you prefer, your baby’s formula, and your laptops and your child’s psp or gameboy, your cell phone and strip your clothes at least to your shoes and belt for now.

Tony Hawk Boom Boom HuckJam

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Extremely lame.  Don’t waste your money.  The show lasted a little over an hour.  There was only one ramp.  All attendee had to stay on one side and watch which means if you have a small child he/she couldn’t see the event.  It took place on the parking lot of the amphitheater.  Tickets were overly priced for the amount of time they performed.  Of course, they hike up the price the day of the event (just like any other event) but that’s not the issue, it was a complete RIP OFF.  I was really dissapointed as a parent.  My kids did not have a good time because they spent most of thier time guarding what little space they had so that they could see the tricks on ramp.  PLEASE DO NOT GO or BUY TICKETS TO THIS EVENT.

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