Ladies you decide (and men can join in too)

Spring is here and for some of us we love-love that freshly cut grass smell….hmmm, ahhhhh.  Yes the fight against thatch build-up is daunting but with this Schick Quatttro Trim Style for women it will cut grass like a Katana sword.  Good Monday y’all…here’s an outrageously funny commercial to jump start your week.  Well, you decide if you think this is hilarious as much as I do..

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Javalujah!

Our nation has been addicted to ‘retail worship’…now the economy HAS TANKED what do we do?  Life is full of paradox and irony.  It doesn’t help that on a national level we are being asked and encourage to spend and borrow our way out of recession by means of stimulus checks and that the person who handles your monies is called a broker.  In any case,  enjoy this parody. 

 

 

What kind of person would buy a Snuggie?

So I couldn’t sleep last night and while I tried to make a sensible decision to either raid the fridge or reach for the remote, I opted for the latter choice and saw this commercial about “The Snuggie”.  What kind of person would buy this crap?  Seriously, if this product is being sewn in China or (insert country name here) what in the world do they really think of Americans?  Honestly, can you REALY see yourself in a Snuggie during your child’s sporting event?!    This product should be banned because it will lead to a Hate Crime!  Enjoy the parody.

So I was tagged for “25 random things about you” I gave it thought and effort so here it goes:

1. If I were a kitchen utensil I would be a ladle. I like the notion of cradling my family and taking care of those anyone in need.  If I were single, I would probably be a half broken food processor for obvious reason where one good blade only works.
2. I was once a registered “young Democrat” in high school.  My political views have changed over the years and I’m more “independent”. Although, some would argue that I’m  a ‘pansy-liberal’.
3. Even though I have taken swimming lessons many times I still can’t swim.  (more of a matter-of-fact than random)
4. I recently wrote an essay for NPR (National Public Radio) for “This I Believe” program.  I dedicated to my father-in-law.  It is in the NPR’s national archive forever.
5. I like to sing Norah Jones tunes in the shower but I often think I sound more like Karen Carpenter.
6. Biggest imagination I had when I was a kid, I was a black-belt Ninja.  I often would jump off tree branches and throw ‘star-fruit’ at unsuspected passers-by (i.e like the ‘fish-ball’ vendor).
7. Piggy backing on number 6.  I was born in Philippines and immigrated to America when I was 10.  Up to this day, I don’t know how to answer the question “Did you grow up here?”
8. I speak several languages:  English, Tagalog, and Spanish.  I can understand some Portuguese, which I will de-bunk the idea right now that Portuguese is nowhere similar to Spanish.  In addition, I’m also fluent in sarcasm.
9.  My full and real name is French “Mignon” pronounce like that stake filet mignon.  I went by as Meg for several reasons:  in middle-school, most kids did not care to know my name some thought my name was “egg-nogg” As I got older, there wasn’t a place or a person I introduced myself to that I did not have to say my name several times so “Meg” was more for simplicity and convenience.
10. During my hey-days, I was a cocktail waitress at this bar called “Mitty’s”.  I quit and got in a fight with a group of military-guys because they tipped me “. 25cent” I told them, I’m trying to make a living not a phone call.  Thanks to you I can now call my landlord and tell them I can’t pay rent.  By the way, pay phones are now a rare sight.
11. My random act of kindness in more than one occasion:  I helped a lady pushed off her car off the middle of a highway ramp and changed a flat tire for a senior couple.  Yes, I know how to change a tire as well as changed oil but I’d rather pay someone for that
12. I really believe we’re all here to learn some lessons and help each other grow.
13. I don’t believe in love at first sight.  My definition of a soul-mate is not one that you marry because he or she is  your best friend.  It’s the person whom you are with and vice-versa and that while you’re both on this world.  You are both to treat each other with utmost respect and unconditional love so that when one soul passes on to the next world and the other’s soul in time passes, both souls are reunited as one.  No soul is longing for the other to join or wishing eternally that soul should’ve been kinder while on the material world.
14. My major paranoia is loosing my kids.  I constantly worry about them.  When they were babies, I would have vivid dreams that I had hired a crack head baby-sitter and that she would take my kids in her car driving aimlessly looking for crack.
15. I love the smell of a box of crayons.  It brings nostalgia and wonderment when my life was much simpler.
16. I wish I could read people’s aura on demand.
17. I will always cheer for the underdog.
18. I have a temper; I can be a cynic yet my saving grace is my magnanimous heart.
19. Secretly, I am, my husband’s, biggest fan.  His admirer and personal stalker.
20. I like to write things down on a list of what I want to do, to get, to accomplish but I never get to scratch anything off the list.  It’s what I call “the perfectionist-procrastinator syndrome”
21. I never finished my novel on NaNoWriMo in ’08.  Hoping to give it a shot this year. 
22. I’m not afraid to get hurt on a skateboard.
23. I love music and one of my favorite thing to do is going for a lazy drive with the windows down and listening to music.  My title playlist on my ipod:

-   drop to the lbs.  (for running and exercise purpose)

-   not in the airwaves (selection of songs that will never be played on the regular radio)

-   podcast (collection of This American Life, various Moth Stories, books on tape yeah sexy ones too!)

-   iRoad (the kind of music you will recline your chair to and wait for the transcontinental flight to take off)

 24.  I have a hard time saying “I love you”

 25.   I love Italian food though I love Thai food equally.

26.    I once got busy in a Burker King Bathroom.  ooops! 25 random things not 26.

 If I tagged you it’s because I want to know more about you.

 

Skittle commercial

The man in the mirror is actually speaking “Tagalog” however, the tailor,  I couldn’t make what language he’s speaking. 

Karma and Reincarnation

I’m not supertitious but if karma finally caught up to  OJ Simpson.  Could it be Judge Lance Ito’s dissaperance from the limelight is due to  reincarnation?

Here is a picture of Judge Ito in 1995

the “Pregnant Man”

Superstition?  Coincidental?  Serendipity?  the resemblance is too uncanny to ignore.

The Wonder Bread vs. The Hottie

Seriously, which one would choose? Would you be practical or sensible? Pick one.

 

Choice A: the Wonder Bread or

Victoria Secret model Selita Ebanks?

Notice the likeliness?

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No one is immune

     You know times are hard when the White House Turkey will not be pardoned.  Apparently, with the economic downturn, your house is not alone with the challenges of high cost of groceries.  The White House as well and its current residents, staffs and its entire member are all feeling the pinch.  Thus, the Thanksgiving turkey will not roam free this year as it will be dressed and glazed and accessories with fruits and vegetable trimmings (with the exception of Gucci handbags and Burberry scarf.)  And the thanksgiving turkey will be laid out on all its glory on the White House’s Italian marble table.   To spare the turkey is unfathomable.   There are starving lobbyist and politicians to feed.

     Desperate times calls for desperate measures.   The Watutsi Tribesmen from the Capital One commercial will bless the wielding of the ax so as to symbolize a sacrificial ceremony to end amid our world economic crises.  The celebrity tribesmen’s and their ferocious barbaric band of brothers are being laid off.  They too are affected by the credit card crisis.  Also on the chopping block, Tiger Woods and Kate Walsh from TV series “Private Practice”.  Kate Walsh will now advertise for Yugo instead of that sleek red Cadillac that she happily wedge her stiletto onto the pedal and Tiger Woods will not endorsed any Buick vehicles and may sell his personal air bus in order to keep his million dollar yacht.  All because the car companies are tanking. 

     Currently, all overly paid CEO’s are taking inventory from their fat pockets.  They too are trying to make a conscious effort to cut down on the cheddar.  Instead of lavishingly endow their mistresses furs.  The CEO’s will now resolve to faux furs. As a result, animal activist will be extra happy to not carry extra spray paint cans wherever they go.   The CEOs have proposed a plan to end the disastrous Real Estate market by recommending a start up company for their mistresses.  The CEO’s will provide a house for the ladies in any vacant foreclosed home of her choosing.  It is a waste to keep those houses vacant and vacant home are considered high risk in the insurance business.    I’ve no doubt a bordello franchise will turn the housing economy around.  Look for it on the stock market ticker (xxxBORD).   I do not condone this but as a lone citizen, I do not have the power to stop their immoral wills.  They see this as a win-win situation.

     In conclusion, you are not alone my friend.   You and I were born with a magnanimous heart, we will give this Thanks’giving’.  We will not go out kicking and screaming and give to the gift that keeps on giving:  our National Debt.  We will dig our nails onto the ground and work.  So that obscenely rich families will not have to go through the walk of shame and they can keep the pretentious lifestyle while they sleep well on their 2000 thread count Egyptian cotton and pipe stitched pajamas while so many of us struggle to keep our houses warm and send our hungry kids to school.

Tryptophan Experience

 4 days before Thanksgiving.  I am so looking forward to this holiday that will be once again hosted by my mum-in-law.  Pro ranking in culinary skills and her ammunition of cheesecake from scratch not even Giada De Laurentis’ bosom will divert anyone’s attention from B’s skillet skills.  So I am thankful for the bounty she will prepare for us this Thursday.

     Actually I have a lot to be thankful for:  it has been an exhausting year (as we come to close yet another year) with the emotional under tow of the election ‘08, the U.S. economy collapsing and the ‘bailout’, with millions of Americans going in foreclosure, added to my life in constant overdrive, yes I am thankful that I remain hopeful for all the undiscovered opportunities that awaits me. No matter what situation you are in, be reverent and be thankful.

    I am thankful for my two talented, funny, and intelligent sons.  They keep me young.

    I am thankful for my family being around them reminds me of my heritage.

    I am thankful for my husband’s family.  My sis-in-law whom my children adore to no end.

    I am thankful for my friends in their company I don’t have to be careful. 

    I am thankful for my faith that keeps me grounded and offer unconditional acceptance that we all seek.

   I am thankful for my husband who constantly injects adventure in my veins  (We learned how to kiteboard recently).

    And I am thankful for the million-dollar lottery that I won recently.

 

 

 

 

   Ha! Just checking if you we’re still reading.  Sending positive energy your way and I can’t wait for my “Tryptophan experience” this coming Thursday

  

It’s the Holiday Season

Just in case you doubted my generosity this upcoming gift giving season…here’s your proof. It’s in one of these container. So pretend I’m Oprah for a minute and here it goes….”You get a box. Yoooo get a boooox!…You get aaaaaaaa boxxxxx!!!” Oh joy.  Let’s all jump in jubilation on our extra buttery leather couch because ….the season of “Extreme Shopping” is right around the corner.
Yes folks, tis’ the season of ‘contact sports.’ This is my RBI STATS last year. I was in the market for a Wii. I started my game already late in the season. Beginning of November, I had a list of bases (stores ranging from EB Games to Circuit City) within 13 miles radius then first thing a.m. i’d make a few phone calls, “Hey do you have any Wii?” Often I didn’t have any hits and it went on like this for days even weeks. I was getting dissapointed that my children were never going to have this coveted holy grail of game console and that they would have to be scarred for life. So I worked harder, I even contacted family members in California (could you say desperate) and talked to my friends Kathy and Marky-Marc and the funky bunch, that if you see any Wii will you buy it for me and i’ll pay you back? Oh yeah we are still friends even after that intrusive crazy idea. But finally, I scored. I called a certain store and they happen to have two left. I ran over pot holes and concrete divider (i happen to be in an armor clad SUV that day) parked on the fire truck zone–kicked open the door and announce myself to the cashier with a crazed look and i say screaming “This is Sparta!” they had no choice but to give me the Wii at that point. I was rabbid that day. I’m sure they would’ve given me the other one if I asked for it.  Good luck to all the hockey moms and soccer moms.  Let’s keep the injuires to a minimum.