Me vs The Homeless Man

    The rain lightly drizzles as I pulled up on the parking lot.  An older gentleman stands outside.    I am not sure how long he must have been on the front entrance of China harbor but long enough to get soaked.  I slowly walked up and he immediately approaches me for some change and with a very small promise, I said I ‘might’ after I get my order.     

     I felt so blessed.  I thought how unfortunate for him to beg for dinner while I complain on how I did not want to cook dinner.   A man his age, nor any individual for this matter, should not worry where his or her next meal will be nor asks random passersby for money. 

     After a few minutes of waiting, my order was finally ready for pick up.  I thanked the lady behind the counter and I got back with some small change.  I put the small paper bills in my pocket  and thought twice of the half dollars I had on my palm.  I stepped, out to what just a few minutes ago a drizzle, to now heavier pelts of rain drops.   I stand underneath the awning with the homeless man, and I slowly proceed to hand him the change I half-heartedly promised.  Slowly I reached out to his hand when all of a sudden he reached into his jacket and held up his pointing finger at me signaling me to hold.  He had the audacity to put it me on hold while he answers his cell phone.    I thought WTF.  Did he just pull out a ‘side slide cell phone’!? 

Me:  Sir you need to put your dealer in the phone on hold.

 Homeless Man:  Hold up what?

Me:  I want my fitty back!

Homeless Man:  (laughs at me like I’m crazy)  Why you want it back?

Me:  Because you have a cell phone and I want my money back.

Homeless Man:  Well you ain’t getting it back.  This ain’t no refund deal.

Me:  Well yes it is if you’re going to  use it to buy crack or use my money to buy minutes for your cell phone!

Homeless Man:  (nothing)

     I walk away.  But I turned around I hold my two fingers up on  a peace sign but points to my eyes and back to him.  Oh yeah that’s right I’m watching you!

But My Parental Brain Rebels…

    Seriously at age 16 should you be holding a pole in front of millions of audience whose youngest age is in kindergarten?

Check out Little Miss Sunshine here.  I totally see where the next marketing level is heading  Nintendo Wii will partner with Nickelodeon and bring you “Wii Pole – unleash your inner Stripper”.

Can this prisoners get amnesty?

A few years ago, this prisoners did a Michael Jackson rendition of “Thriller” now they’ve done it again with “Dangerous”.  Should American justice system  add it on our agenda ‘Dance Rehabilitation’?  Shouldn’t these guys make shanks out of toothbrushes? ( Shawshank Redemption, remember?) Couldn’t some of them fly here in U.S (just like the 15-year old pirate from Somalia) and have the best day ever?  Someone behind the bars is somebody’s Tito Boy and he’s missing his Ate Baby.  Enjoy this video.  Hope your week is off to a good start.

Going Free Muffin

I am not sure how to relate to this story.  How do you recover everything to get  your dignity back?  From recalling all the copies of your high school yearbook to Youtube, Local News and not to mention any instant message that went around regarding this story.  What a crazy world we live in! 

How many screens do you own?

Whether you own a  52″ inch  flat-screen or an archaic tube TV, count how many screeens do you have at home?    I have five:  2 TV’s, 2 computers and a lap top.  Don’t forget the ones in your car or SUV.  Then get back with me with your response.

Ladies you decide (and men can join in too)

Spring is here and for some of us we love-love that freshly cut grass smell….hmmm, ahhhhh.  Yes the fight against thatch build-up is daunting but with this Schick Quatttro Trim Style for women it will cut grass like a Katana sword.  Good Monday y’all…here’s an outrageously funny commercial to jump start your week.  Well, you decide if you think this is hilarious as much as I do..

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var gaJsHost = ((“https:” == document.location.protocol) ? “https://ssl.” : “http://www.”);
document.write(unescape(“%3Cscript src=’” + gaJsHost + “google-analytics.com/ga.js’ type=’text/javascript’%3E%3C/script%3E”));
</script>
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try {
var pageTracker = _gat._getTracker(“UA-10031974-3″);
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Javalujah!

Our nation has been addicted to ‘retail worship’…now the economy HAS TANKED what do we do?  Life is full of paradox and irony.  It doesn’t help that on a national level we are being asked and encourage to spend and borrow our way out of recession by means of stimulus checks and that the person who handles your monies is called a broker.  In any case,  enjoy this parody. 

 

 

What kind of person would buy a Snuggie?

So I couldn’t sleep last night and while I tried to make a sensible decision to either raid the fridge or reach for the remote, I opted for the latter choice and saw this commercial about “The Snuggie”.  What kind of person would buy this crap?  Seriously, if this product is being sewn in China or (insert country name here) what in the world do they really think of Americans?  Honestly, can you REALY see yourself in a Snuggie during your child’s sporting event?!    This product should be banned because it will lead to a Hate Crime!  Enjoy the parody.

So I was tagged for “25 random things about you” I gave it thought and effort so here it goes:

1. If I were a kitchen utensil I would be a ladle. I like the notion of cradling my family and taking care of those anyone in need.  If I were single, I would probably be a half broken food processor for obvious reason where one good blade only works.
2. I was once a registered “young Democrat” in high school.  My political views have changed over the years and I’m more “independent”. Although, some would argue that I’m  a ‘pansy-liberal’.
3. Even though I have taken swimming lessons many times I still can’t swim.  (more of a matter-of-fact than random)
4. I recently wrote an essay for NPR (National Public Radio) for “This I Believe” program.  I dedicated to my father-in-law.  It is in the NPR’s national archive forever.
5. I like to sing Norah Jones tunes in the shower but I often think I sound more like Karen Carpenter.
6. Biggest imagination I had when I was a kid, I was a black-belt Ninja.  I often would jump off tree branches and throw ‘star-fruit’ at unsuspected passers-by (i.e like the ‘fish-ball’ vendor).
7. Piggy backing on number 6.  I was born in Philippines and immigrated to America when I was 10.  Up to this day, I don’t know how to answer the question “Did you grow up here?”
8. I speak several languages:  English, Tagalog, and Spanish.  I can understand some Portuguese, which I will de-bunk the idea right now that Portuguese is nowhere similar to Spanish.  In addition, I’m also fluent in sarcasm.
9.  My full and real name is French “Mignon” pronounce like that stake filet mignon.  I went by as Meg for several reasons:  in middle-school, most kids did not care to know my name some thought my name was “egg-nogg” As I got older, there wasn’t a place or a person I introduced myself to that I did not have to say my name several times so “Meg” was more for simplicity and convenience.
10. During my hey-days, I was a cocktail waitress at this bar called “Mitty’s”.  I quit and got in a fight with a group of military-guys because they tipped me “. 25cent” I told them, I’m trying to make a living not a phone call.  Thanks to you I can now call my landlord and tell them I can’t pay rent.  By the way, pay phones are now a rare sight.
11. My random act of kindness in more than one occasion:  I helped a lady pushed off her car off the middle of a highway ramp and changed a flat tire for a senior couple.  Yes, I know how to change a tire as well as changed oil but I’d rather pay someone for that
12. I really believe we’re all here to learn some lessons and help each other grow.
13. I don’t believe in love at first sight.  My definition of a soul-mate is not one that you marry because he or she is  your best friend.  It’s the person whom you are with and vice-versa and that while you’re both on this world.  You are both to treat each other with utmost respect and unconditional love so that when one soul passes on to the next world and the other’s soul in time passes, both souls are reunited as one.  No soul is longing for the other to join or wishing eternally that soul should’ve been kinder while on the material world.
14. My major paranoia is loosing my kids.  I constantly worry about them.  When they were babies, I would have vivid dreams that I had hired a crack head baby-sitter and that she would take my kids in her car driving aimlessly looking for crack.
15. I love the smell of a box of crayons.  It brings nostalgia and wonderment when my life was much simpler.
16. I wish I could read people’s aura on demand.
17. I will always cheer for the underdog.
18. I have a temper; I can be a cynic yet my saving grace is my magnanimous heart.
19. Secretly, I am, my husband’s, biggest fan.  His admirer and personal stalker.
20. I like to write things down on a list of what I want to do, to get, to accomplish but I never get to scratch anything off the list.  It’s what I call “the perfectionist-procrastinator syndrome”
21. I never finished my novel on NaNoWriMo in ’08.  Hoping to give it a shot this year. 
22. I’m not afraid to get hurt on a skateboard.
23. I love music and one of my favorite thing to do is going for a lazy drive with the windows down and listening to music.  My title playlist on my ipod:

-   drop to the lbs.  (for running and exercise purpose)

-   not in the airwaves (selection of songs that will never be played on the regular radio)

-   podcast (collection of This American Life, various Moth Stories, books on tape yeah sexy ones too!)

-   iRoad (the kind of music you will recline your chair to and wait for the transcontinental flight to take off)

 24.  I have a hard time saying “I love you”

 25.   I love Italian food though I love Thai food equally.

26.    I once got busy in a Burker King Bathroom.  ooops! 25 random things not 26.

 If I tagged you it’s because I want to know more about you.

 

Skittle commercial

The man in the mirror is actually speaking “Tagalog” however, the tailor,  I couldn’t make what language he’s speaking.