Cloud 9

We had one-and-a-half hour to board our charter plane. Accompanied by my own entourage: my husband, my two sons and an arsenal of surfboards and we were ’stoked’! We were in Philippines and we’re heading to Cloud 9. One of the world’s best surf spot. Only one caveat – supposedly it’s not safe for ‘foreigners’ I looked at my American husband and two light-haired son then me ,the only one who fits in, and suddenly I’m not so stoked.

Our plane touched down and I caught a glimpse of my husband’s wonderment of the land. Endless rows of coconut trees, from a distance a man was walking on a rice patty path while his machete swings on his waist. My children laughed at at the sight of the water buffalo chewing on his cud. This was their airport. No concrete runway instead it was green grass, no security just a table, two attendants equipped with rubber stamps, an old fashion baggage scale and roosters running wild. I felt uncertain in a country where I was born. A tricycle driver yells, “Welcome Surfista!” and for a second I anticipated for him to blindfold everyone from the plane and ask for ransom money instead he smiled his toothless smile and says “Over der es where Abu-Walang-Bayag is hiding…” Lucky for me I understood his pun of joke and I laughed along with him but still I couldn’t help but looked at the forest of coconut trees. His joke was a way to reassure us that he’s on my team and not the one who was in hiding.

The next few days, I mastered the art of doing nothing. My husband happily surfed and hung out with ex-pat Aussies and my kids endlessly played on the beach under the hot-hot tropical sun. They found ‘Nemo’ amongst other sea life and they were particularly fond of chasing coconut crabs huge ones especially at night for which they came in drones. My children wore their headlamps and watched them ate and clicked-clacked their claws. We toured the island on a motorcycle with no helmets with my oldest sitting right on the gas tank. Was I worried that we did not meet U.S transportation standard? Perhaps a little thankfully we got back to our cottage safe and sound. The irony of the trip was as travelers we have all kinds of assumptions of people and places out of our comfort zone. We tend to feel worried and think of the negative and even judge. During my stay, I learned the true meaning of a Spanish saying “Via con Dios!” and I left all my worries behind and learned to live in the moment.

My Farewell to the Malakooti

Debunking of what we Americans think of “What’s Italian and What is not”.

 First, I would like to start of with the Italian Flag:

-         Italian flag rectangular in shape tri-color:  green, white, and red very simple.  In order to avoid confusion, Mexican flag rectangular in shape, tri-color:  green, white and red and contains an eagle eating a rattlesnake emblem.  Got it?  Good.

      -         Donatello, Michelangelo, Leonardo, Raphael mentioned individually are Italians.  Mentioned as a group are not Italians and may be considered as blasphemy because they are the characters in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  Be prepared to take a mafia beating if mentioned by accident.

      -         Italian ice originated in New Jersey.   It is considered to be an Urban Legend in Italy.  Such food products undermines the more adventurous Italian palates.

      -         Prego – do not ever bother to look for it on a grocery store shelf nor ask.  You will get the proverbial slap in the face from Nonna.  Fresh tomatoes will be your best friend.

      -         Do not be surprise if “Torre pendete di Pisa” is still leaning. The Italians prefer it that way.  It is a work of art and not a construction mistake!

      -         Big difference in Piazza and Pizza.  Piazza is an open square in a city of Italy and Pizza is baked in a square brick oven.

      -         Not to be confused Milan is renowned for its capital of design and fashion.  Mulan is a cartoon produced by Disney.

      -         Take note the saying “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.  The same principle applies in The Vatican “What happens in the conclave stays in the conclave.”

      -         If an Italian says “Italian Wedding Soup” just know that there is no wedding nor a gorgeous Italian in the soup.

      -          “Rome was neither built nor conquered in one day.”  And if any one tries to argue that just consider them crazy and walk away slowly.

      -         Gelato is a type of upgraded ice-cream.   It is dense and softer as oppose to Jell-O is a type of gelatin, contrary to its prefix ‘gela’,  Jell-O is a polymer food product that should be eaten with caution.

      -         Galileo, Botticelli, Puccini, Da Vinci and to be added to the list of greatness Malakooti!

It is hard to believe that in a few weeks the Malakootis will boared a plane en route to Italy and I say this in disbelief that we all have had the honor to have them in our community for 12 years.

We received nothing but kindness, you have opened your hearts and your home countless times.  We thank you for making us all a part of your family.  You leave us with such beatiful memories.  We know not when we shall see each other again but your generosity will always stay in our hearts. 

Mark, Sussan, Nikka, Ehssan we will miss each one of you.